I want you to sit me down and scream at me. tell me that what I did was wrong and that it hurt. I want you to shake me senseless…until I get it. until I allow myself to let someone in… romantically…spiritually…emotionally.
No one as close to perfection as you deserves what I did to you. I loved the way you looked at me; the way you made me feel; how you treated me. I wish that I was in love with you…
I have cared about you for so many years, and now that I am back all I can do is continue to care…more and more…and it honestly hurts soo bad. pay back? maybe…
but you are not even forcing this payback on me…
I hate myself for how I went about things. In some ways I hate you, for not telling me that I was wrong and that we…us…we were worth fighting for…we were worth getting over that hurdle.
Every time I am near you I want to sit in a corner and cry, but, in unison, you crack me up and make me fall under your charm. How do you do it… unconsciously.
this is all word vomit…but man I mean every bit of it.
MM…I am so sorry. please yell at me. please be mad at me. it hurts more that you do not show those emotions towards me.
